If someone would of told me a few years back I would be a military girlfriend, I would never of agreed. I would never be that lucky, but here I am the girlfriend of a Royal Navy Marine Engineer. So yes you guessed it, I would of been wrong. I havent really mentioned much on here about my relationship, for the main reason, I wasn't really sure how to. But let me give you a little insight.
Me and Michael first got to know each other around October 2016. He was briefly home from a deployment for personal reasons and we got to know each other and started chatting. We kept up with contact when he returned to join his ship. The emails went back and forth daily catching each other up on what we had been doing and simply finding more out about each other. Around came December and he came home just after Christmas for New Year. On 5th January 2017 we met for lunch and we both had such a lovely time. He again returned to the ship, leaving me with the excitement of seeing him when he came home from his deployment in April as we had planned and again emails went back and forth and finally it came. We went on quite a few dates and Michael asked if I would be his girlfriend and I obviously said yes. That was May 6th so now were a year and six weeks into our relationship and still going strong.
Being a military girlfriend is certainly not easy. He spends the majority of his time away at base in Portsmouth. Only for him to come home weekends he's not working. We honestly treasure every moment we get together but sometimes its just not long enough. We also have to work with any sea time he has to take. Recently he's been partaking in sea trails and im sure we both agree this hasn't been the easiest time. Its where the realisation of being part of the military family comes into play. I realised there are so many women and men who go through the same thing while their partners are away. Its very hard. Communication is limited and even though ive been lucky enough he could come home a few weekends, the weeks away seem harder than ever. As I have always been I am extremely proud of him for what he does, but this will be his last year of services as he will be leaving later this year. The decision is completely his as he feels now is the right time to try new things. But like I said during these sea trails we have worked through some of our hardest times. A few disagreements have been made and have all been resolved. But time away from someone you love be that for a week or three will always be hard. I personally have felt the strain of it and try my hardest to stay positive for my boyfriend because I know thats what he needs. But I've had tears, I've had smiles and I've had sadness. Because yes its not easy and you have your highs and you have your lows. You have when you need that person to just tell you everything going to be ok but you know they will be busy with their work. So I've been thinking of this a lot as of recent and I thought I would share with you some ways to stay positive while your loved ones are away.
I believe positivity is a mind set. If you believe everything going to be ok and you can work through it you totally can. This is where I struggle. When im struggling with the limited contact and distance I cant work through it. I try my hardest but it beats me, every time. You need to always remember no matter how long it is till you next see them that your going to be ok. If you are negative about the whole experience your struggle will only get harder. Stay positive and remember you love this person and they are coming home to you.
Which leads me onto my next point, their coming home. Something I always try to do is look forward to when my boyfriend does come home. We both like to try plan a few things in for when he's home. That way we won't spend our days laying around doing nothing. So your wondering what you could plan, here are some of our favourites...
- Picnic
- Walk through the forest
- Meal down the local pub with a couple of drinks
- Cinema
- Shopping
- Watching a movie together on the sofa
These are just a few of our favourites you may have others you like. But what ever you like to do together plan it. Having something to look forward to when their home just helps to ease the thoughts of the "their not here now" periods you may get. Its the little things in life that matter and if all it takes is to focus on one small thing do it.
Find something that keeps you busy. This can be anything that interests you. One of the things I try to do is work on my blog and youtube. But I will be honest finding the motivation is very hard when he's away. Some days I just cant seem to think about what I want to write and it can take me days just to write one post. Then other days it flows and I can get loads done. Another thing I love to do is go for a walk as I love being outside especially with all this incredible weather we are having in England at the moment. I will walk anywhere be I near the roads or round the back roads and over the fields I love it, I am so blessed to be able to live in beautiful Norfolk. But the main point here is find the things you love doing on your own and do them. Your loved one is away there is no better time to take some well earned me time. Do what you love and enjoy it.
One last thing I like to do is plan what I will wear when he's home. I know this sounds superficial and not necessary. But some weekends when he's home I like to put something on that makes me feel great, something that makes me think, Yes I feel and look good in this. The main reason is because if I feel good in it I hope he will like me in it. This can be anything be it a pair of comfy ripped jeans or that dress that makes me feel a million dollars. This is so super important to me because I want to look my absolute best when I get to see him, I dont mean all the time but when I havent seen him for a few weeks its one of the most important things for me.
Just remember no matter where your loved one is the distance will only make your love stronger. Our thing we always say is no matter our distance we can both always see the same moon it is the one thing we can both look at no matter the distance.
I hope these ideas help you and if you have anymore let me know them as I always want more ways to cope with being here while my loved one is away.
Love
A Norfolk Blondie
xoxoxo